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-Monday, November 29, 2004-
im supposed 2 b asleep rite nw...since itz like 3am in d mornin...
bt cant seem 2 doze off...guez got used 2 d late nites olready...*sigh*
super relieved tt examz r over...sem 1 has ended...kinda tired of studyin uh...
aniwez,had loads n loads of fun durin d weekend...rili enjoyed mahself!WeeEeEeeEe!hee...
mah schedules fer nt wk is tite...cheh!step bz jek!yelah...examz over!aper lagik...ENJOY uh!*winkz*
cant wait 2 meet d yj peepz nt wk fer jln raye, esp azreen dearest...MISS HER SO MUCH!tink goin out wif d ilsa peepz oso...n extremely cant wait 2 hit da beach!woOoHoo!
kinda got sum probz wif nana...bof got kinda emo...i noe she cried...n i noe she noes tt i held back mah tears...olwayz pretendin 2 b d "strong" gerl...i feel for ya,i understand...dunch noe wat got into dem...bt dey'll realise it kz, no worries...bt rili glad tt u listened fer once n changed...fer d better...all dis shit will pass away soon...we'll stay d same, dere wont b any changes...i promise...no worries...me,u n ayu...i love both of u so much!*muackz muackz*
*i just keep fallin...deeper...wen will i ever stop...help me sum1...any1...will ya?*
HolLeReD at
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[ [] ]
-Saturday, November 27, 2004-
u took mah hand
den u took mah heart
n made mah days bright
sheltered me from mah fears
pushed away all mah tears
n shone mah life
made evrytin seemz oh so rite
yet d seemingly endless fairytale
came to a halt as soon as it start...*sigh*
sittin fer mah last paper later!!!WoOhOo!been super anticipatin fer dis day 2 cum!YAY!hee...
n im gonna b free...fer d moment uh...den back 2 sem2...haiz...WTF!tt will cum later!gonna enjoy nw!Weeeeeeeeeeeee.....
HolLeReD at
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[ [*UCK...d feelin jz cumz back all over again..*sobz*] ]
jz put down d fon...was tokin 2 him...
n d feelin juz came pourin back 2 me all over again...
i noe he noes...bt pretend 2 b ignorant as alwayz...pretend not 2 noe anetin...
d moment i tok 2 him...i get d same feelin of familiarity...evrytin all over again...
d same jokes...d same laughters...d same teases...but,sadly,aint longer d same story...
i guez wat ppl say is true...its hard to stay d same...
circumstances haf changed...
he's not "him" no more...
n i aint "me"...
sumhw it still hurtz...*sheesh* WAT DO I WANT!!!
d answers will cum 2 me...a fren said...k den...ill wait...*lookz down*
HolLeReD at
|1:49 AM|
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[ [N sO sHe sHAlL bLoG...HmMM...] ]
-Wednesday, November 24, 2004-
has only been a wk...
WHILE LILPEAFAIRY WENT MIA...
- went out wif family fer jln raye
- had an open hs
- ate a lot
- went ard collectin money(hee..)
- was studyin
- was muggin
- had sleepless nites
- was super busy
- busy
- n busy
- tried to do sum soul-searchin
- catch up wif old frens
- misses sum1 so much
- felt bad
- felt shitty
- felt alone
- *sigh*
BUT SHE'S FEELIN SO MUCH BETTER NW...*winkz to sum1*
HolLeReD at
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[ [] ]
-Thursday, November 18, 2004-

RemEmBer HeR smILeZzz...*sigh*
HolLeReD at
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[ [] ]

She sAyZ GOoBye fEr Now...
HolLeReD at
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[ [She's ScAreD 2 TrY...sHe's sOrEe...*lookz down*] ]
told ya u wudnt understand...
all i can say now is tt "im soree..."
i tried 2 explain bt u din try 2 comprehend...
well...im soree...
dun wish 2 b entagled by the complications yet...
u can say im scared...scared 2 even try...well,itz true...
i wun deny it...i am scared...dun wish fer anymore heartaches...
aint wanna go thru anymore heartpains...well...at least nt fer nw...nt wen im still scared...
experiences shud haf made me a stronger person...wif ppl hurtin me intentionally or unintentionally...
well...maybe dey did...n i thank dem so much fer evryting...fer makin me a better person...
fer makin me 2 b able 2 tink better fer myself...2 rili understand wat ppl r sayin behind evryting...behind d facades...behind d hypocrisy...
d words i used...seemed so strong...soree...bt i jz cant bring myself 2 trust sum1 new yet...
im soree if i seem selfish 2 nt gif u a chance...
bt i aint ready fer any changes...
im happy d way i m...
~GOD bless~
wat a fren said was true...u said evryting rite...all so true...
im followin d stream...hidden in conformity...d society has "mould" me...
itz still so hard 2 find myself...wen im drowned in d crowd...
i still cant apprehend wat i rili 1...wat i truly seek...
i nid time...fer myself...
she's closin d curtainz fer d stage...
gonna stop d drama...no more rehearsals...
she'll b missing bt her life goes on while she tries 2 find herself...
thank u...
HolLeReD at
|2:09 AM|
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[ [] ]
-Tuesday, November 16, 2004-

Cheh!models tak menjadi...*ahakz*
HolLeReD at
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[ [SyAWaL MenJELma...] ]
-Saturday, November 13, 2004-
3o dayz of fastin finally over...muslims all over d world r celebratin syawal...
well...im missin "Umi" rite nw...my late grandma...
miz goin back 2 kampong...
miz her cookin...
sigh...
still...i feel truly blessed 2 b wat an wher i am 2dae...syukur alhamdullilah...thank God!
my family n frenz hu i hold dearly 2 me...i love dem lotz...
well ppl...
SLAMAT HARI RAYE!!!MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN...
HolLeReD at
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[ [Li fE is So fRagiLe...Y DiD iT haS 2 hApPen...*sobs*] ]
jz got 2 noe wat happened 2 yana...i rili cant believe it...so unexpected...y muz it happen...
y is life so fragile...dun wish 2 pinpoint huz mistake was it...wun do any good...
bt it's hari raya tmr...we're suppose 2 meet...crap, laugh n enjoy d days 2gether...
omg...y sey...y her...no...she'll gonna b all right...she'll wake up...n b all right...she will...
*prayz hard* she will...she's strong...im sure she will...
tears r droppin...bt i noe ttz nt goin 2 mk tingz any better...she wun b all right wif my tears...
she wun wake up wif my tears...oh god!help her plz...
we're suppose 2 go out n haf fun durin d holidayz...wat abt our late nitez plans...wat abt our sharing stories...wat abt evrytin...she's gonna b all right...im sure she will...
plz stay strong gerl...we love u...lotz...
plz...*sobs*
HolLeReD at
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[ [] ]
-Thursday, November 11, 2004-

IM ALL SMILEZZZZZ....*rollz eyez*
HolLeReD at
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[ [WheN LONeLInesS cReEpz In...sHe WiLl STill SmiLe...] ]
i passed d damn hard chem test!hee...aargh!wateva...
gettin more shagged wif each passin day...haiz...
late nights + strained eyes + cramped brain = super shagged body!
been keepin 2 myself lately...evrythin inside of me...i guez itz better...tt way,no one has 2 noe...
only me,myself n i...y bother tellin ppl wen u urself dunch noe wat u 1 fr life...wen u urself is nt sure of wat ure feelin...wen u urself is extremely clueless...so im hidin it all away...
im a hypocrite...so wat...tell me sumtin new...evry1 is aniwez...ttz life!
ppl r cumin in n disappearin out of my life...so fast...thingz change jz so fast...cum 2 tink of it,itz jz so scary...*shudderz*
now u see me...now u dun...
now u noe me...now u dun...
examz r cumin...n im gettin anxious by d min...it has been a long time since i feel tis way...aargh!*uck!d strezz is overwhelmin...feel like runnin away fr it all...so many thingz haf happened...jz 2 much...dere's only so much i can swallow...i nid air...i nid space...i dun wish 2 suffocate...i nid mah freedom...
i tink im takin advantage of sum ppl...n im feelin guilty...so soree...*lookz down* i dun mean 2...avoidin sum ppl oso...so soree again...i rili dunch noe wat i 1...dun wish 2 hurt anibody...dun wish 2 gif any wrong ideas...so im hidin...so soree...
im only tryin 2 find myself in my own space of peace...
yet i dun wish 2 feel so alone...
i will still smile... =..>
HolLeReD at
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[ [ShE's SuFfErIn frOm eXtReME sHAgNEsS...*sigh*] ]
-Friday, November 05, 2004-
kinda jz got hm n feelin damn tired...my legz r achin fr all d walkin...din get 2 meet up all d peepz as planned...laz min say cant mk it...hate it wen tt happenz...wen ure so anticipatin it...yet all fer notin...hmmph!sum other time i guez... bt catchin up wif fariq alone was still great!luk rili diff!hee...a'ah sey,i was super paiseh sey tt i said hi 2 d wrong guy!*blush*haha!dorang ahz, kacau2...said hi 1st n i tot he luk alot like u sey!aniwez,told me many interestin stories...rili rili interestin...hee...no worries,ur secrets r save wif me!=p n yahz, at 1 point of time, he said "rozanna,ure smart lah..surely,u haf more brains den tt rite?!" hmm... tt set me tinkin...i guez d 14 yrz of studyin haf slowly destroyed mah brain cells...i rili tink it does sey...hee...
after breakin fast at kfc far east...we walked n walked till specialist ctr n gave wan a surprise visit at werk!hee... n lucky us got free drinkz!fariq ahz..tk tahu malu suroh mintak!bt me still got face yahz...wan offered us instead...so sweet...thanx ehz!sat dere n toked n crapped again...wan joined us fer awhile...btw,super soree fer d laz min changes...*lookz down* n glad u can mk it!
so shagged rite nw...i guez itz d result of d late nitez n super cramped brain...*sigh* been tryin hard 2 get down 2 serious studyin...revision fer d upcumin examz...rili glad tt aarti asked if i wish 2 study 2gether!YESH!PLZ!i cant survive studyin on mah own...tend 2 switch off as soon as i start...hee...i nid ppl 2 bug me wif qnz...n ill ans dem,squeeze mah brain juice...an assurance tt i noe wat ive studied...n tt im SMART!~bluek~ hee...
got super stressed up wen found out my data sheet was missin...dere goes my observations...n dere goes mah report...hw much careless can i get!haiz...luckily,magnus's lab session is tmr...n can lend me his results...tsk3!indah...indah...
REMINDER: 3 MORE WEEKS 2 D EXAMZ!!! haiz...
ermm...*wonderz*...hwz he doin ehz...shud b great...hp so...
tink gonna turn in nw...so so sleepy...Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........nitez ppl!
HolLeReD at
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[ [HeR lAst cHem laB sEsSIoN.....wEeEeEeee!] ]
-Wednesday, November 03, 2004-
in skulz nw...waitin fer my nt lesson...jz finished mah LAST CHEM LAB SESSION!!! weeeeeeeeee!hee...tho 2day's pract was kinda sickenin lah!cudnt manage 2 figure out wat were my unknowns...evry test gave me d same resultz!kartun sey!tink mah tubes were super contaminated...ermm...bt did use acetone b4 rinsin wif water...so wat was wrong...hmmphh!kept repeatin d tests n kept gettin d same observations...hee...bt i feel gud coz i noe i tried...=p nw..mah nxt prob will b d report!*poutz*
d cookies tt me n mah dearest mama made is so NICE!hee...im so thick-skinned!bt rili...so tasty!aniwez,dunch tink me goin 2 lau pa sat 2dae 2 meet d ilsa peepz fer d iftar...so sowei...bt mah lessons finish at 6 lah...so sowei ehz...*lookz down* meet u guyz durin jln raye ehz!hee...
dee koled laz nite after like so soo long...bt i guez we haven change...our friendship...we kept on yakin n yakin n yakin non-stop!laughin...crackin stupid jokes...n jz catch up...hehez!n fri is conperm-ed!me meetin mah sec skul frenz...hee...cant wait...!
i feel so refreshed...!!!i tink...hee... wan said"kadang2 i tk paham u lah...so 'tricky'.." hmm...yahz...i guez so...so sowei...im alwayz so fickle-minded...dunch noe wat i 1 aniwez...so ppl...if i did hurt u, made stupid remarkz bout u, took u fer granted, irritate u or jz anytin...im truly soree...wasnt tinkin...soree...tk baik tau tk maafkan di bulan mulia ini...*ahakz* again...indah's so soree... later raye mintak maaf lagi ehz!hee...
HolLeReD at
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[ [HmMm...WaTz GOtteN IntO me aGaiN...] ]
-Tuesday, November 02, 2004-
no skulz 2dae...so me at hm nw...makin cookies in awhile wif my dearest mama!ye!hee...
aniwez...test was damn hard yesterday...cudnt ans sum of dem...was practically waitin fer d last 15 mins 2 pass jz like tt...n d paper was onli 1hr...coz i noe no matter hw hard i try 2 squeeze my tiny brain...d solutionz jz wun pop up!i got all d stupid rxns mixed up..."tinkin:was it NANH2 or LIALH4 that gives a triple bond...hmm...wateva...jz go wif my instincts!"
wasnt in d bestest mood either...was feelin kinda emo d whole day...dunnoe watz gotten into me...wat was my problem...maybe i do noe...bt pretend nt to...pretend tt tt wasnt d prob...haiz...indah tanak rase mcm gini..."mama kite kate tk elok tau puase2 marah2...sedih2...majuk2..."yahz...i noe...hmm...im tryin...
dunnoe y bt i feel like a fool...hu jz wudnt learn her lesson...i rili dunnoe wat 2 believe...hu 2 trust...coz evryones seem b 2 fakin it...words seem so contradictin...evryting seemz 2 b jz 2 much...y r so many thingz happennin...so which r d truths n which r d lies...tell me coz i dunnoe...i cant keep on guessin...n i nid 2 noe...so tell me plz...will u...plz...haiz...*lookz down*
(gd liar!plz stop lyin,will ya!y muz u?!wateva!i wun cry no more!)
bt...im better 2dae,i guez...coz me makin cookies!hee... n it was great tokin 2 MC laz nite...cracked stupid jokes...made me laugh...tho MC did made fun of me *poutz*...bt was great moz of d time...hee...
cant wait 2 meet my frenz up fer d iftar...cant wait 2 watch shark's tale(ye!ye!)...cant wait fer d weekend...SHOPPIN!cant wait fer RAYE!hee...=p cant wait fer d HOLIDAYZ!weeeeeeeeeeeee.....!
HolLeReD at
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u tINk u NOE hEr...
wElL,tInK AgaIn Coz maYbe u DuN...
PeoPlE ArE HyPOcRiTeS...
duN tRy Ta denY!
"Tiger Lily" by Matchbook Romance
we drive tonight,
and you are by my side.
We're talking about our lives,
like we've known each other forever.
the time flies by,
with the sound of your voice.
its close to paradise,
with the end surely near.
and if i could only stop the car
and hold onto you,
and never let go (and never let go)
i'll never let go (i'll never let go)
as we round the corner
to your house
you turned to me and said,
"i'll be going through withdrawl of you
for this one night we have spent."
and, i want to speak these words
but i guess i'll just bite my tongue,
and accept "someday, somehow"
as the words that we'll hang from.
and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words.
cause i (cause i..), i don't want to make things any worse.(2x)
why does tonight, have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts.
we'll skip the goodbyes.
if i had it my way,
i'd turn the car around and runaway,
just you and i.
and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words.
cause i (cause i..), i don't want to make things any worse.
and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words
cause i, i don't want to make things
and i, i don't want to make things any worse